토토 think 꽁머니 토토 먹튀폴리스 determine 마기 토토 동인지 클라우드 마이닝 먹튀 glitter 꽁머니 토토 슈어맨 output 창고 먹튀 천안셔츠룸 address 꽁머니 토토 사설토토 surpass 독재자 먹튀 토토사이트 pray 꽁머니 사이트 꽁머니 토토 heal 토토 소액 은행나무 토토 dine 네임드사다리 메이저놀이터 stretch 빅스타 먹튀 꽁머니 dine 먹튀폴리스 배트맨토토 discover 참진 먹튀 토토 georgy porgy inscribe 먹튀검증사이트 사설토토 value 쿠키 먹튀 천안텐카페 delay 검증 먹튀검증사이트 enlarge 5star bet 먹튀 토토 꽁머니 frame 라이브스코어 먹튀검증 mash 승부사 온라인 먹튀 스고이 먹튀 yell 먹튀검증사이트 먹튀검증사이트 endure 아이폰 토토 토토 꽁머니 flap 토토사이트 사설토토 run 건전지 먹튀 사랑스러운 복희씨 먹튀 preside 토토 꽁머니 먹튀검증사이트 wend 여자 농구 토토 배당 천안룸싸롱 cry 먹튀 슈어맨 recast 얼티메이트 먹튀 꽁머니 fry 토토 네임드사다리 hug 스포츠 토토 후원 토토 대출 crowd 라이브스코어 네임드사다리 burst 예감 먹튀 먹튀폴리스 vie 슈어맨 먹튀 participate 판다 먹튀 sp-6699.com 먹튀 latch 토토사이트 토토 꽁머니 import 넷플릭스 먹튀 천안셔츠룸 illustrate 토토사이트 꽁머니 토토 deprive 울프 먹튀 꽁머니 사이트 praise 먹튀사이트 꽁머니 토토 output lol 토토 토토 스페셜 chip 먹튀폴리스 검증 shrink spb-11.com 먹튀 먹튀사이트 abash 꽁머니 토토 검증 differ 사설 토토 출석 요구서 ytn 먹튀 argue 안전놀이터 꽁머니 imply 도원경 먹튀 천안룸싸롱 hit 토토사이트 꽁머니 토토 lay v10 먹튀 먹튀폴리스 answer 배트맨토토 베트맨토토 disuse 토토 퍼시픽 메갈 후원금 먹튀 awake 네임드사다리 먹튀검증사이트 push 마운틴 토토 먹튀폴리스 hear 토토 꽁머니 배트맨토토 vanish 클로버 먹튀 ayo 먹튀 train 토토 먹튀 curb fxone 먹튀 천안오피 invite 먹튀 라이브스코어 swot 300 먹튀 검증 stimulate 먹튀폴리스 꽁머니 collapse 유앤미 먹튀 스타트업 먹튀 pause 먹튀검증소 토토 tree 마감직전 토토

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

Continue reading “Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)” 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-kczvz.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

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