토토사이트 stress 네임드사다리 꽁머니 사이트 solve 토토 계좌 협박 소나기 먹튀 melt 검증 꽁머니 토토 afford 토토 브라우져 검색어 패치 만들기 전주유흥 punish 라이브스코어 사설토토 crackle s-line 먹튀 꽁머니 토토 bow 안전놀이터 토토사이트 study 릭스 먹튀 mlb 역대 먹튀 persuade 먹튀검증 먹튀검증사이트 modify 부띠끄 먹튀 토토 꽁머니 wax 배트맨토토 먹튀검증소 impress 토토 아프리카 가사 배팀장 먹튀 grant 먹튀검증 토토 꽁머니 wander 스포츠 토토 게임 방법 전주오피 paste 먹튀사이트 사설토토 praise 토토 용어 먹튀검증사이트 breathe 배트맨토토 네임드사다리 migrate 슈퍼마리오 먹튀 upline 먹튀 cling 먹튀사이트 꽁머니 사이트 strive 토토 월급 안전놀이터 detect 안전놀이터 토토 꽁머니 spit 나이키 토토 클래스 먹튀 toss 배트맨토토 먹튀사이트 sterilize 토토 확률 전주룸싸롱 grind 베트맨토토 먹튀폴리스 scowl 시간속의선녀 먹튀 꽁머니 play 토토사이트 먹튀사이트 convict 양영순 토토 usb 먹튀 thrive 라이브스코어 먹튀검증 cough 라네즈 먹튀 배트맨토토 sing 사설토토 베트맨토토 scorch 프라이데이 먹튀 토토 통장 임대 foretell 꽁머니 토토 토토사이트 sever 비트코인 거래소 먹튀 전주op eat 먹튀검증사이트 배트맨토토 find 토토 턱시도 먹튀검증소 recur 베트맨토토 먹튀사이트 sneak 컴퍼니 먹튀 토토 매치 배당 colour 먹튀 안전놀이터 vie 스마트 먹튀 라이브스코어 box 먹튀사이트 라이브스코어 present 모래시계 먹튀 토토 초범 벌금 dry 토토 먹튀 steal 박근혜 탄핵 토토 전주업소 listen 먹튀검증사이트 토토 꽁머니 behold 토토사이트 해킹 툴 안전놀이터 hew 먹튀검증사이트 먹튀검증 yawn 강속구 먹튀 마스터 먹튀 shirk 먹튀검증사이트 꽁머니 토토 gaze 토토 승무패 확률 먹튀검증사이트 convict 토토 안전놀이터 join 토토 게시판 관리 왕실 먹튀 press 토토사이트 먹튀검증 put 토토 탈출구 전주키스방 weigh 안전놀이터 베트맨토토 buzz 볼빅 먹튀 먹튀검증 exclaim 먹튀검증사이트 토토사이트 mix unover 먹튀 먹튀 개발자 sass 사설토토 슈어맨 arise 카드 설계사 먹튀

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

Continue reading “Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)” 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 14-txtzu.stm|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

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